A few weeks ago, my partner and I decided to do an Oral Sex experiment.
We wanted to find out how our sex life would be affected when we abstained from intercourse, but replaced our daily lovemaking to daily Oral Sex Rituals instead.
As you know I am a Sensual Massage Therapist and a Tanrika, I work with men, women and couples on enhancing their sex lives through mindful touch etc etc...so I figured that this experiment would benefit my research and help others too.
Now, I am a once or twice a day kind of girl, I love sex with my partner, and I orgasm with penetration, so for me it was going to be interesting to see if I could keep my spirits up with just oral sex. When I say "keep my spirits up", I mean that literally, if I do not orgasm daily or have intercourse and connection regularly with my partner I can quite easily slip into depression. So with an open mind and a willing heart I decided to give this "Oral Sex only" experiment, one week only.
I had one of those "open my mouth just to change feet" occasions recently...at my cousin's wedding.
I seriously cannot help myself. It is probably one of the reasons why I lose friends and alienate people, I know I know... it sounds like a movie. I think they wrote that one for me specifically.
Last week my beautiful young cousin got married, and I promised myself that nothing was going to stop me celebrating this awesome occasion with her and the very small family that I do have here in New Zealand. (The rest of my family are in the motherland of South Africa, yes I am a little boertjie at heart. I still have my accent, and I can still roll my rrrrrrsssss.)
As I was getting dressed to go out, I mentioned to my boyfriend, that we should probably watch what we said seeing as it was a "formal occasion", and I have a certain knack of shocking people with my liberated tongue.
He laughed and said it wouldn't be him that would be the one saying anything dumb....he knows me so well.
You see, I have a habit of opening my huge trap, which sometimes I think it's only function is to change feet.
I am a confident "sex talker" and it doesn't matter whether I am in a church or a banking queue I don't discriminate, this to my detriment. People either laugh, are offended or the one's that know me, enjoy watching the blush creep up my listener's cheeks.
I guess it is the work that I do or just the fact that I was born this way, as in, it is in my D.N.A.
People that are close to me have said that I should have been born a boy, because I can swear like a trooper and have no problems getting into conversations about boobies , butts and penises...
This kind of conversation comes so naturally that I forget that others are not on the same level. I blame my father who has passed on now, he had no issues talking genitalia and sex in front of me as a kid, and I picked it up like osmosis. I still remember the first drawing he ever made me, was of a naked woman with her arms behind her head, showing off her boobs...dear old dad. Anyway I digress, where was I, oh yes..
Most people cannot openly discuss how they are feeling, let alone when they had the last best shag of their life...
So guess what happens when I meet a nice young Afrikaans man from Bloemfontein of all places? Yeah only one of the most conservative towns in the Orange Free State, South Africa...yep the place where everything is done in the dark, with the lights out....except when you are farming sheep or going to Church...
This is my latest testimonial from a Couple that enjoyed the experience of "Absolute Surrender"
This morning I rang for a catch up with Pauline, I know that phone conversation never goes as it would with any other person. When Pauline asks, “how’s life”, what she is really meaning is, “have you had good orgasms lately to release the endorphins that you need for healing”.
This might be a funny way to start a conversation, but once you get to know Pauline and Murray, it’s not that funny at all and you really do find yourself opening up about how you are feeling and also getting a small lecture, a friendly one, but a lecture none the less! “HAVE MORE TOUCH, USE YOUR VIBRATOR, RELEASE THE ENDORPHINS WITH AN ORGASM”
Tell me who else in the world would tell you that you need to orgasm more…… and also tell you if you can’t orgasm with your husband, then do it alone while he is at work and the kids are at school.
For those Erotic Explorers that have no understanding of Tantra, I thought I could put together a few short tit bits of information to help you along with your enlightenment.
Some of the “Sexual Myths” that we have all heard at some point in our lives.
1. Sex is for Procreation
2. Sex is Shameful
3. Sex is Natural, so don’t mess with it
4. There is a “right” way to make love
5. Sex is only a Genital affair
6. Intercourse is the ONLY meaningful part of sex
7. Arousal follows a set pattern
8. Your sexual pleasure depends on your partner
9. In Men, Orgasm equals ejaculation
10. Tantra requires celibacy
11. Tantra condones Orgiastic indulgence.
For a moment forget all you have heard and read the following...
Client's testimonial of his Sacred Sensual 90 minute
"Yesterday September 20th 2013, was a day to remember in that I was demoralized, tense and thoroughly upset.
So to remedy this parlous and unhappy situation, I decided to avail myself of the services proferred by "our" Pauline.
When the first contact was made, I was ill-at-ease with myself. Would I be shy? I didn't quite know what to expect.
Not only that but I hadn't been touched by a woman for a good nine years.
"My new Journey to self-healing and pleasure,
I had the pleasure of receiving a two hour Hot Stone Massage, the experience for me was both pleasurable but also healing.
My husband and I have been together for 11 years, and over the last 7 years our sex life has been on and off and often non-existent for long periods of time. We have 3 beautiful children, ironically our oldest one is 7 years old, this is when we became focused on being parents and didn’t put enough emphasis on being husband and wife through love. And like all marriages, we have seen our ups and downs with careers, kids, and life. We had been to counselling, and I have visited many specialists as I just didn’t think I worked anymore… I hadn’t experienced a true orgasm out of pure love for many years.
"My Experience into Absolute Surrender....
Hi Pauline, I love you from the depths of my soul, for what you showed me....
I thought I would send you a little letter to thank you for the beautiful experience we shared a few weeks ago, when I came to you for some sensual body work.
My first contact with you was from a safe distance, (my computer) I was able to ask questions and then answer your own intimate ones, that would give you some background history on me.
I must admit even the little questions you asked started getting me intrigued, just anticipating what was to come next, your words and instructions were intellectual erotic foreplay, and you hadn’t even touched me yet. It was clear to me that you were very much focused on creating the best sensual experience for me.
No generic massage treatment here.
Pauline aka MsVanillaberry
Outspoken, Conscious Sensual Massage therapist and Tantrika that has one hell of a dirty mind and a naughty sense of humour. Loves creating all sorts of pleasurable encounters for her clients and herself...living with the philosophy that life is too short to not just grab it and enjoy it in bliss.